Campaign of the Month: March 2016

Ptolus, City by the Spire

No Rest for the Wicked - A Mos Tale

They say no good deed goes unpunished. If that’s the case, I must have done something terribly good to be saddled with this bunch…

We regroup to head back downstairs when the door gets knocked on. Of course, I go to check on it and send the braggarts packing, so we can get back to work, but of course they’re too stupid to believe a plausible lie. They come rumping in and I sic the goon squad on them. A couple solid whacks and they’re out. We head downstairs into the heart of the place and nearly get killed! The goon squad decides to try to hold the only spot in the place where seventy corridors come together. And then this crazy woman with some sort of magic axe shows up and mows through them like a peasant in the fields.

WHAM! BOOM! They drop.

So they’re lying there, bleeding out, and the woman calls for a parley. I accept, of course, because while they may be perfectly happy to meet their various gods, I just became one and I’m no where cool enough to meet myself. Turns out she’s a merc, and a pretty good one, at that. She sells out the cult and takes off and I get the goon squad back to life and what do they do? B!tch and moan and wail and cry about letting her go. I’d listen more to them, but they were a little unconscious during the meat of the matter.

“Gosh, Mos, you should have killed her. Gosh, Mos, why’d you let her go? Gosh Mos, I wish I was as good as you are at not getting hit by swords and then I’d be awake enough to make decisions.” The last part was a bit exaggerated, because THEY WERE UNCONSCIOUS AT THE TIME.

I wonder if other nascent deities had to deal with naysayers like this? I bet Lothian had a bunch of dudes following him around, second guessing him all the time when he was a new god.

Anyway, while they laid about, I scouted the place, found a great bottle of Chateau Morrell and the map to the whole compound. Once again, no gratitude. Also, they turned someone into this huge hulking beast-man that was darn near unstoppable. Seriously, I had to perform at least one miracle to keep these people alive. It’s hard to be this awesome in this perfect of a size.

Anyway, we’re going back down. Got to find the kid who’s missing yet. Can’t very well let a kid rot among these cult whackos, can I?

Mental note: get monkey toes some foot-gloves made with our spoils. I swear it’s like her toenails are WATCHING me…

Comments

Man, I love this so much. I genuinely laughed out loud. Bravo, sir!

JamesMartin

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